Devotions by Da'dra
"No One Is Gonna Want You"
"Ain't no man gonna want to marry you." These were the words that were spoken to me from a family member when I was really young. She claimed it was all because I didn't have a look that a man would want. lol I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't funny then. I specifically remember sitting in front of the mirror at the age of 15 years old crying. My mother walked in the room and asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "Mom, why did God make me so ugly. No man is going to want to marry me." My mom, without hesitation, responded, "Girl, just wait, you will have your pick!" LOL That's my mom. Gotta love Motha Crawford.
Fast forward to my early college days. I was sitting around in a rehearsal and a group of us were talking. I specifically remembered one of the musicians asking me what I wanted in a man. Well, I just so happened to have a list of qualities I wanted in a husband. I pulled it out. It was quite extensive and detailed. A year later, after I read all 5,969 things I wanted in a man, LOLOLOL (I'm exaggerating to paint the picture that the list was LOOOOONNNNNG) LOL He responded, "You ain't gonna ever find all of that in one man." To which I replied, "Oh, yes I will. Just wait and see."
Listen, I don't believe that my family member meant any harm and was probably just expressing her point of view from her experience when she said no man would desire me because of the way I looked. But, as a teenager, these types of words can be devastating to one's self image. Those words sank deep into my subconscious and came to the surface years later as I sat in front of that mirror. And, I don't think that musician/friend meant any harm either when he told me that I would have to settle for a man that was less than what my list called for. He was just speaking from his personal experience.
But, by the time I got to college, I had learned a few things. I strongly believed that if I delighted myself in the Lord and lived for Him, that He would give me the desires of my heart. I wrote that list down and was VERY specific. I kept it in my bible and I prayed for my husband even though I didn't know him at the time...so I thought.
Well, wouldn't you know, not much longer after that incident, I met Mark. And, after dating him for a little while, it dawned on me that he met every thing on my list down to the smallest detail!
I was having a conversation with my son, who inspired this blog. He told me about how someone said he couldn't do something. I went into full blown mommy mode and told him what I am telling you. People don't mean any harm, they just can't see all of your potential because they aren't omniscient or omniseeing (I made that word up. LOLOL) But, you get my point. People don't know all there is to know about who you will be or who you will marry or what your life will look like in the future. Only God knows and I believe that He will give you a glimpse or more when you hang out with him.
So, it is in my humble opinion, based upon my experience, that you should be specific. Write the vision and make it plain (The book of Habakkuk talks about this). Ask for what you want and believe you receive it at the moment you ask (That's in the gospels somewhere, I just can't think of it right now.) LOL And, DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN GOD'S BEST no matter how many people want you to.
Like I said, I believe people generally don't mean to rain on your parade, but because of negative life experiences for many, you are going to have to carry your umbrella of faith everyday and keep yourself shielded from the onslaught of negative declarations that may come. You will regularly have to quench the fiery darts that will come hurling in your direction. But, you have what it takes to dodge them all. And, even if you do get hit, God can heal you and restore your faith in the vision He has given you for the type of person you want to be with.
Not only that, I have a friend that got married and God superseded anything he could have asked for. C'mon now! God can do exceeding, abundantly, above and beyond anything you can ask, think or imagine. For some of you, God wants you to upgrade your list. Yours is too limited for what He wants to bring to you. He wants to expand your territory.
Now, I know that some of you may be thinking, "Yeah, but I have kids or I am older now, it's been so long." Well, according to your faith be it done unto you. Sarah was 90 when she gave birth! My goodness. lol And, there are many people with all types of sordid pasts that go on to marry and have great lives.
Here's my point, 'they' said that I wouldn't have what I was believing for. But, 'they' were wrong. And, I mean that in the sweetest way. Perhaps, I should say 'they' were mistaken. lol I digress. Listen, don't be discouraged because you are believing for something another person can't see. You will have what YOU see. That's a whole other sermon. I'm done preachin'. LOL
I hope this encourages you to keep that list with you, speak over it, pray over it, get yourself together and prepare and make room for God to expand your life in the area of relationships. And, if you don't have a list...create one. I just believe that God will honor yours as He honored mine. Hey, I'm no different than any of you. We are all precious in God's eyes. So, let Him shower His goodness on you. I look forward to hearing about how God brought to you everything you believed for.
Have a blessed, prosperous and productive day!